First of all, let me thank Artsy Fartsy Tim for inviting me to do a little guest spot while he travels. And hey, Tim, as long as you're down there at SXSW, if it's not too late, you should check out the documentary about Bill Withers, Still Bill, which was directed by a guy I went to college with. I've only seen the trailer so far, but it looks good.
I think it's Tip O'Neill who's credited with the "all politics is local" quotation. We tend to have short memories in this country, and I've found that on my blog it's important that I speak to a certain lowest common denominator (I assume that my demographic is me), so I'll just remind Tim's obviously erudite readers that Tip O'Neill was once House Speaker. He had a very large nose.
For me, local is New York. Remember Spitzer? He was one of ours. We can only partially claim the escort because she grew up in New Jersey, but she was working in New York. And DC, apparently.
Hillary was one of ours, too, and I had no major complaints about her as senator. Mostly, she just hunkered down and got to work. Wasn't crazy about her Iraq War vote, but you know, whatever. Senators disappoint you from time to time. You just hope that it won't be too often. Chuck Schumer's another one. The guy's totally in bed with all of the financial powerhouses now getting bailed out by, uh, Chuck Schumer. And yet I've voted for the guy twice. What the hell is my problem?
But this isn't what I was planning to write about... Local... Right...
So when Hillary moved to the State Department, our Spitzer replacement Governor David Paterson named Kristen Gillibrand to be our new senator. Who's Kristen Gillibrand? I still have no idea to be honest with you. But Gillibrand is apparently one of those Blue Dog Democrats with crossover appeal to Republicans, something very important in her conservative House district, where there is going to be a special election.
Here's where we get local...
This special election features two people I've barely heard of. In one corner, the Democrat Scott Murphy. In the other, Republican Jim Tedisco. It's a local race with national implications. Some of you may have heard of Michael Steele, who took over the Republican National Committee. Because he's a bit of a loose cannon, he's managed to alienate much of the GOP. His fate may rest on the outcome of this one local race.
OK, but really, that's a national issue, not a local one. Back to local...
This is Jim Tedisco, the Republican running for Congress:
This is where it gets really local...
But first let me back up just a hair. So to speak. Heh, heh... Ahem... I'm a bald man. Thanks to testosterone, with baldness comes other random hair issues. Back hair, errant eyebrow hairs, and the hair-that-must-not-be-named. That's right: Voldemort hair.
All politics is local. And I'm talking so local, it's localized...
Look at Jim Tedisco's ear. Man's got some ear hair. I mean, seriously, if you can see it in a photo, it's a lot of ear hair.
Local issues matter. So does ear hair matter? Well, I'm not sure. But I would hope that he, as a public figure, would take care of that. What do grooming habits tell us about the candidate? Do voters care about literal earmarks such as these stray hairs? They will give their answer on March 31st.
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